This article addresses the question of whether a shift to a self-chosen marriage partner means that traditional cultural norms stressing family influence on spouse selection have been weakened by inroads of modern norms of greater individual autonomy in the marriage process. Using a representative sample of 1552 married young adults (aged 20-34) in Greater Jakarta, we explore the courtship processes and the degree of parental role involved in spouse selection. Although only 4% of the respondents cited that their marriage was arranged by others, over half of the respondents reported their parents or in-laws played a major role in their marriage decision. Our multivariate analysis suggests that tertiary educated respondents are those most likely to report their parents playing a major role. We reflect on the prevailing cultural norms to discuss the centrality of family in studying the interactions between marriage, education, and social mobility in modern Indonesia.